Saturday, June 28, 2003

*Beautiful Day*
Last nite was good.
Exhaustion took over me.
Its been a long time since i actually slept at 11.
No nightmares.No faces that i dunt wanna see in my dreams.
For a moment, i felt at ease wif myself.
A huge burden has finally been lifted off me.
Its about time.
Ive come to terms wif my decision.
and now i must live wif it.
things will be fine.im certain.

Woke up in the morning.
Weather was fine.
It has been cold for the past few days.
and thats good.
Didnt wanna wake up.
so i continued sleeping.heh.

Then woke up to Mastan's Screams in the room.
urgh.Sumtimes i wish he was an insect then i can spray and kill him wif Bygone.
BUt hell he juz wanted the freaking Pc.Warcraft.Bad bad game.
So yea.did the usual household Chores,
and here im now.
After this,
i shall continue reading my Dragon Reborn.
so a very Good day to u guys too aight?






XOXO,
10:55:00 PM

Friday, June 27, 2003

Fire.

Whats wrong wif humans these days? why do u go all out to hurt one another even more.
issit juz me or is mankind getting more cruel as the generations goes by.
What kind of an idiot goes around on ppl's blogsite criticising one's english?
whats the freaking big deal?
Even if ur Command of english Is one standard Higher then the rest...ur shit's still brown and ur fart still stinks.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Ppl 's characters are NOT based on their "english speaking abilities".
Wif u going around slamming them..it only goes to show who the real black-hearts are.
They may suck at english.But im very very sure they make much better humans then U do.
God shld have juz made u a pig.

and yea..i dunt really give two fucks abt you going around commenting on one's english.
U r either out of love or unemployed.
but stay away from the ppl i love.

if u find it sickening to read "sucky english"...then SCRAM.
we dunt need u there commenting.run along.go play "fetch".
either ways i guess ur still a sad case..so my deepest sympathies to u.

urgh.Tok abt redundant topics to post abt on a Saturday morning.




XOXO,
9:00:00 PM


Haunting.

Manage to forget abt the depression im going thru for awhile juz now.
one of the most common ways to run away from depression is to occupy your time.
and not juz staring into space for the whole day. and thinking abt how much u hate the world.
Went out wif the usual gang juz now.
Funny bunch of ppl.
get stuck wif feroz and haihan for a day, trust me ull luff till ur intestines burst out.ok fine.im exaggerating.

Caught charlies angels at junction 8.The movie's ok .Not bad..funny at sum parts.and woah..i must say demi moore looks hot.Cant believe shes 40.The wonders of plastic surgeries.hmmm...even cameron diaz pales in comparison to her in the show.Her hair her eyes...bloody hell.she ll rot in hell i tell u .
Saran treated haniza and me.He s such a darling...u juz cant help but love that brother of mine.Brother Brother...




XOXO,
6:20:00 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Bleed and die.

I juz let go of sumone very very dear to me.Im sorry.I had to do it.
Its the only sensible thing to do. i hate to cry.Its a sign of weakness.
and i dunt like to be weak.Im not even thinking straight at this moment.
My mind's a mess.and i dunt wanna make decisions that ill look back to and regret one day.
Sumone once told me never to listen to my heart when it comes to choices..
the heart only wants what u desire...but the mind's the sensible one,so use it.
i followed.

Ive come to a realisation that my life has been in a state of Denial for the past 1 and half years.Half of all the things i say r juz basically denials.
What i show on the outside ,is not what it seems inside.Its juz a fake front.
ive been a hypocrite to myself.

im sorry again.









XOXO,
6:12:00 PM


Bittersweet

Thanks to mr MrGothMind,Ive thus been hooked to this song overnight.Beautiful.It makes me cry (gasps).U guy shld really go visit his site and listen to it or go dwnload..Within Temptation's BIttersweet.

If I tell you
Will you listen
Will you stay
Will you be here forever
Never go away

Never thought things will change
Hold me tight
Please don't say again
That you have to go

A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violent
Since you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

If I had told you
You would have listened
You'd had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away

It would never have been the same
All our time
Would have been in vain
Cause you had to go

The sweetest thought
I had it all
Cause I did let you go
All our moments
Keep me warm
When you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

XOXO,
4:24:00 PM


Hunger.

Went to skool today.supposedly the SIT club wanted to plan for their upcoming events but well y am i not surprise..they ended up toking crap again.
so the EI brady bunch as usual..cldnt be bothered...walked out of that place..with the intentions of only turning up on the day of that event only.

Hang out at the south canteen with the guys for awhile. Tok crap as usual.abt nothing in particular.
Biggest reason y we cld probably click so well together is probably becoz we ourselves are rejects from our own societies.
Saran,Viknesh and Feroz..well hmm i guess they juz cant get along well with the Indian Society in skool coz they r lame (the society not them).
HaiHan and arthur hmm...Chinese fellas who dunt mix with the chinese.What else cld be said?..
Haniza..the malay society probably juz dunt understand how her complicated intelligent mind works.they juz shrugs her off as Mute.Screw em.
Me...ive been an outcaste all my life...Cant actually click with the malays..coz they consider me "keling"..(i hate tt word)
and i cant click with the indians coz they consider me too malay...thanks to my mother tongue.Screw u ppl too..i dunt really care.

So u c put all of us rejects together...and yea...u get one hellava group there.So we went bowling for awhile and me and haniza returned back to skool...

For My theaTre Management Meeting...
I think eversince i was made Head of the club(UnderStudy)...ive been panicking alot when it comes to TMT. All of a sudden from a slacker ,ppl have such high expectations of me.It sucks coz in the first place i personally Detest CLUB politics.i dunt like it.its full of shit.Its juz Hypocrisy all over again and again.Vicious Vicious Cycle. And look what ive gotten myself into now...*smacks Forehead*

Ps:ive linked up sum new ppl...check em out aight?..



XOXO,
2:51:00 AM

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Wake up

It happened again.Now im feeling disturbed again.
hmm i wonder whether it happens to ppl out there.i suppose so.BUt i think its weird.
Lately ive been having troubles waking up from sleep.
I open my eyes and everything's monochrome mode and hazy.
and when i try to move i cant.
my eyes r open but i cant move a single nerve.
And all i can hear is the wind blowing.
The first time it happened,i tot i was going to die.sheesh.
closed my eyes and tried to move and the minute i cld (seemed so long),ran out screaming and crying to my mum embarrasingly.
and so it happened often after tt.
but i didnt wanna panick.So most of the time i juz closed my eyes back.and waited.
sumtimes i doze back to sleep and sumtimes i could move after waiting for long.
Juz now it happened again.Whole body felt numb.Couldnt move.Juz wind blowing and hazy all around me.

mum has no idea what it is.Dad and sis's sure it has sumthing to do with the "3rd dimension" beings.
but i still dunt quite get it.i dunt like it either.

XOXO,
10:07:00 PM


Dragon Reborn
Twice shall he be marked,
Twice to Live,and twice to Die
Once the Heron to set His Path
Twice the Heron,To name him True
Once the Dragon for remembrance Lost,
Twice the Dragon for the price he Must Pay.

Since theres nothing else to do for the remaining 2 weeks of my holidays, i ve finally started on the Third Book of the Wheel of time series.
Now im Hooked.Cant put it down.Mum's screaming at me telling me to put away the book.BUt i cant.Damn it.

XOXO,
7:50:00 PM

Monday, June 23, 2003

"The Amazing Race aka Lame Race"
i did the impossible yesterday.I ran around the whole of sentosa (read =whole of sentosa) for like 6 times on Footfrom 9am - 6.30pm.
It was Impossible.It was Crazy. It was Hilarious.It was Nerve wrecking .It was Amazing.i still cant believe i did it.sheesh

10 groups.All wif One Mission.To be the Ultimate team.To be the first among the rest.To finish the 19 stations once and for all.
i was in group 5. we didnt noe each other at first.and frm the beginning of the race.thank god for Uma,who was blabbering nonsense wif me the whole day.theres this Crazy fella whos always asking everyone to RUN RUN and RUN. my first Instinct was to HIT the fella's Head wif my Sandals.(Yesh.i did everything wif my Poor sandals.Iran wif my sandals.Its dying on me right now.Im sorry ,sandals.)But i have to admit we would not be the Leading team for the first 10 stations if it was not for that irritating freak.i was climbing up dragon trails and long "great wall of china" staircases.(screw u sadistic Seniors!).I had to drink from sum dumb small container.Dirty Water.with my other 10 teamates.i had to play dumb ball games.*phew*. Unbelievable.

The Motive
Is to be able to get along and cooperate wif ur teamates thru out the whole day.Basically to be frens among fellow OGLs from the other cozes.my team had a strength of
11 ppl.which includes only 3 girls.The rest were chinese boys.most of em were frm IT/BI.The ones i cld really get along well wif was Herman,This sweetheart from
the Skool of Design.Only malay speaking person there besides me.Sumtimes when we get pissed, we ll juz start scolding everyone around us in malay.Hehz.Then theres
Albern, another softie.Very feminine but extremely Lovable fella.and this another guy who carried his WaterGun everywhere he went.The watergun was even made our Gd
luck charm and the Team's symbol of Unity.Haha.Crapsters.oh i almost forgot..and this Other guy who resembles the sporean Guy who climbed MOunt everest.I forgot
his name.So the whole day i was calling him "Mount everest".coz i keep forgetting their names.sheesh.*slaps Forehead*

The Finishing Line
After making the Biggest mistake by taking the wrong bus , we went dwn to the fifth grp.Already 5.30 by then.Was made to walk all the way back to Siloso beach frm
Pahlawan..Juz to get our FastFoward.The FastForward was a Dumb one.everyone was too tired to think.and if we failed the Fastforward we were to go back to The
Pahlawan.So the majority of us actually DEMANDED to be Eliminated.Too bloody tired by then.The Running Freak still wanted to go on.So we told him to go by hmself if
he wants to soo much.My bums were already aching like mad.So yea we eliminated Ourselves from the Race.and were very Proud of it i must say. And we all had
fun.Fun fun fun.i wanna do it again sumday.but god noes when.sheesh.

Me and Haniza went off Early wif Saran to Meet up with the Guys(Feroz,Viknesh,jack,haihan and Thomas) for dinner at Harbour Front.Funny bunch of fellas. They didnt turned up for the day..but only came into Sentosa after dinner coz they wanted to overnite.Well dad will skin me alive if i ask him for permission to overnite in sentosa with one whole bunch of Boys.sheesh.So forget it.these r the rare times whereby i wish i was Male. But on the whole it was fun. i never had regrets taking part in this Whole OGL thingy.at the rate im going, ill prolly get to noe the whole Skool of Information Technology by the end of 3rd yr.hehehz.

PS-->Harbour Front train looks cool.The Jurong east line MRT looks Dumb in comparison after i took the Harbour front one.;)

XOXO,
7:57:00 PM

Sunday, June 22, 2003

Cheerful Mind

Aight.New layout's done.Say whatever u wanna say abt it.But i love it. And one of the reasons y i love it more then my other layouts is becoz i personally put in alot of effort into it.For de first time..i bugged my sister to sit and teach me ...right dwn to the basics. so she did.And she Insisted on me using my pic with the guitar..I was quite reluctant at first...but then again...the Wonders of Adobe Photoshop made me take back my words.Heh.

so Credit obviously Also goes to Miss Nobrainner for tolerating my crap the whole day long.She was on the verge of suicide many times while tutoring me.Trust me, The whole Bunch of TPSS students' crap put together is nothing compared to mine.I pity my sister.

There are a few touch ups to be done..here and there. For one...i cant c my tagboard Unless i tag sumthing and click on scream.sheesh.What in the blue hell.Help!

XOXO,
4:15:00 AM


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