Wake up calls
grandfather's death was certainly a wake up call for the family.
again.
ive been feeling kinda morbid lately thanks to everything that had took place for de past few days.
frankly speaking,
the slightest tot of death frightens the living daylights out of me.
Maybe its cause i noe that im not ready yet.
sheesh..the luggage hasnt even been packed yet..much less ready.
yes,in only 19.
naive.immature brat.
still getting a taste of life.
with my future full of promises and dreams that ive yet to fulfilled.
everyday's a routine.
all i do is sit around and laze about.
doing practically abt the wrongest shit.
things that i NOE i shldnt have done.
which leads me back to my question wif no answer.
how do i noe when its MY turn to go?
ppl out there die as young as 5.
im grateful ive lived a good healthy 18 yrs so far.
but what if there r NO tmorrows all of a sudden?
how do I noe whether there will be any in the first place?
im so not ready yet.
for anything at all.
and this morbid crappy feeling's not helping the situation at all soon enuf.
dang..
im convince that ill be paying a short holiday visit to hell.
*bleah*