Memories...
Was in the train wif linda on my way to skool today.everything was going my way..so far..i mean it was in the Morning after all.Train stopped at Khatib and guess wat of all the bloody ppl to come in..it must be
Jack,and his 2 chinese girlfrens.That was enuf to ruin my whole day ahead.i pretended that he wasnt there......Its been a yr since i broke up with him but i dunnoe y..im still going thru the getting over Him period..
call it anything u want..i dunnoe..sumtimes i think this whole thing i going thru thanks to him is soo dumb..its soo not mee..and everytime i tell myself that its over..im finally over him..all i need is to c he s face and everything comes back to square one...doesnt help the fact that hes in NYP too.
i hate this. I hate this feelings.i hate him for Making me go thru this.I hate Him for everything hes done.i hate Him for not being there for me anymore.
i hate myself more for Not being strong enuf.I hate myself for ever allowing him into my life without thinking twice.I hate myself for Letting him go sumtimes.i did wat i think was right..obviously there was no point in going on in a relantionship when its going nowhere,..not my fault that Hes mum hates me coz im MUSLIM...not my fault thats HES punju...but yesh it was my fault to run away frm facts .It was my fault to hope .it was my fault that my brains got stuck in a castle on the clouds for 2 bloody yrs.
This is so stupid.i feel pathetic right now.Y am i going thru this.bloody waste of my time.i tend to compare every other guy i noe with HIM...when is this whole thing gona be over...so sick of it...so sick of bumping into him..i dun want to c him..i dun wanna noe of his existence..i wish i cld take it all back..